*steals ur credit card*
hasta la visa
Mom: What do you want for your birthday?
*straight people voice* is he… you know…
it’s not you’re* or your*. it’s all Mine. everything is Mine
rnorn…. clacl…. i failecl english….
Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”
Then watch them crash and burn
greeting your relatives
having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch
if a girl is mean to you just tell her she has bad eyebrows